Letting Go of Cherished Outcomes

Dec 19

Recently, I heard Elizabeth Gilbert talk about letting go of cherished outcomes—showing up fully for something without attachment to how it should turn out. Simple words, but they hit deep.

It made me pause and reflect. How often do I reach out to someone, offer advice, or hold space, and then hear that little voice inside saying: “Wow, you’re so wise,” or “Look at how you’re helping them.”

It’s subtle, but there it is: a part of me attaching itself to the outcome. A quiet desire for acknowledgment, connection, or validation—proof that I belong, that I have purpose.

On the surface, it seems noble to help, to serve. But when I get honest with myself, I realize I’m often clinging to a result. And when that result doesn’t come—a “thank you” doesn’t arrive, or I don’t feel seen—I feel it. Disappointment. Resentment. Proof that I had an expectation all along.

This isn’t easy to admit. It’s uncomfortable to sit with the question: How often do I give or act without expecting something—anything—in return?

Letting go of cherished outcomes isn’t about becoming perfectly selfless. It’s about noticing when we’re holding on, catching ourselves in the act, and choosing to soften our grip.

This shows up on the yoga mat, too. We step into the same poses, the same breath, day after day. Some days it feels effortless, other days heavy or stuck. But we keep showing up—not for the perfect practice or a specific result, but for the practice itself.

The same can be true off the mat. What would it feel like to show up for someone—really show up—without waiting for recognition or approval?

The work is ongoing. I still hear that little voice sometimes, the one reaching for an outcome. But I’m learning to smile at my humanity—after all, how human of me to look for love, to yearn for purpose. waiting for it to pass, I begin again.

Hope is important—it drives us forward, strengthens us, and re-engages our capacity to create. But let’s work to remember to always begin from what is happening now—from a place of true recognition, a place of honest, raw, and real acceptance. This doesn’t come easy, but neither does having a human incarnation.

It’s not about what we hope to receive. It’s about how we show up, fully present, for what is.