I'm here to serve not to save

Self Worth

Aug 27

I’m here to serve you, not save you.

How did I get the two mixed up for so many years? Because I’m human, and that’s what humans do sometimes.

Working in the path of service—as a yoga teacher—has always come naturally to me, but if I’m honest, there are parts of me that love to save people. You might think, “But that’s a noble quality,” to save someone is to help them, right? Well… maybe.

On the surface, it can look like help, but most of the time, I was helping based on what I thought was best for them—not what they thought was best, and definitely not what the universe had in mind, because only the universe will know that. Sometimes it aligned with what they needed, other times it didn’t, and more often than not, it didn’t align with what the Mystery—what the universe, or what God—had planned.

It’s not actually my job, I just believed it was because it gave me purpose, it made me feel like a good human—someone who cares. But if I’m being really honest, it was just another tactic I’d learned to get my needs met.

I believe everything is a form of manipulation when you break it down; we’re all trying to get our needs met in some way, whether consciously or not.

Recently, I came face to face—eye contact close—with my inner saviour, the part of me that would lose an arm to “help” someone else. But that’s not service, not to the other person, not to myself, and definitely not to the Mystery, because it’s not selfless, it’s just another method I learned when I was very small—a way to feel love, safety, and belonging, another pattern.

Some of you might be familiar with Stephen Karpman’s work on the Drama Triangle—a psychological model that maps out a dynamic many of us fall into, often unconsciously. The saviour (or rescuer) plays a central role in that cycle, rushing in to fix or help, usually without being asked. It looks like care, but it keeps everyone stuck—the rescuer stays needed, the victim stays small, and the deeper healing never really happens.

So this is a letter to anyone who recognises the saviour in themselves, or to those who find themselves constantly attaching to others, hoping they’ll give you something you haven’t yet learned to give yourself.

We’re not here to save, we’re here to serve.

I invite you to ask yourself: where am I being of service? To my family, my friends, my students, my community? Is that service truly selfless—or is there a hidden gain that feeds the ego, that tells you you’re needed, or worthy?

Go gently, the light can feel uncomfortable if you’ve been sitting in the dark for a long time.